


Maybe There’s Hunger In My Blood (Screaming Out Loud For What I Want)

by Anonymously



Series: Keep It Simple - A series of Malec one-shots [3]
Category: Shadowhunters (TV)
Genre: 2x06, But there is fluff, Comfort, Episode 6, Hurt, Kissing, Love, M/M, Malec, Pining, Season 2, all alec wants is magnus, extended kiss scene, kiss, malec kiss, malec kiss scene, okay, theres is no smut
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-02-07
Updated: 2017-02-07
Packaged: 2018-09-22 17:53:01
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,786
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9618623
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Anonymously/pseuds/Anonymously
Summary: Basically an extension of the scene where Alec kisses Magnus after their date, that doesn't result in Jace walking in on them and 'killing the mood'.





	

**Author's Note:**

> Okay, here goes another attempt at a Malec one-shot. 
> 
> Episode 6 of Shadowhunters literally killed me. The date, the kiss, just everything. And the promo for next weeks episode *gasps* this show has literally gone from rated PG to fifty shades darker, and now I understand what Matthew meant when he said that the Malec relationship was going to move forward rather quickly. *Cries*.
> 
> Anyways, I hope you enjoy this little Malec snippet (and don't forget to read my other one-shots that are part of this series).
> 
> DISCLAIMER: All characters and rights go to the producers and Cassie Clare, I don't own anything - as much as that upsets me.  
> Also, all mistakes in this are my own. 
> 
> Enjoy :) x

When they reach the door to the loft, Alec isn't just feeling confused, he’s also feeling rather sad; because he isn't Magnus’ _first_. Not that he expected to be since the Warlock _is_ centuries old - give or take a few extra years - but just the thought of Magnus being with all those other people and having feelings for those other people, only makes Alec realise that at the end of the day, for Magnus, love is only a continuous cycle and Alec and Magnus can never be _forever_. Although Alec wants to be Magnus’ _forever_. 

Magnus. Just thinking about him has Alec feeling butterflies at the pit of his stomach, a fire burning in his chest and his fingers tingling to touch, all feelings that remain to be completely foreign for him. Even though he thought he was in love with Jace, meeting Magnus only has him thinking that maybe it wasn't love at all, just a stupid crush because he had never had anyone around him to have a crush on except Jace; so the opportunity was there. But Magnus kind of stumbled into his life and immediately he felt something, only something small, but it was still something and now, after their date, Alec doesn't know what to feel. 

17,000 people isn't exactly something he can match and he knows that he will never be able to live up to all of Magnus’ past lovers but for Alec it’s different and hearing Magnus only confirm the huge flaw within their relationship leaves Alec to now, feeling sad and rather defeated. 

And he isn’t _innocent_. Technically. Hypothetically. He isn’t. 

Magnus pushes open the door to the loft and Alec trails behind, kind of like a wolf who’s being kicked down, tail between his legs. He tries not to show it, following Magnus inside as he closes the door behind him. There is this uncomfortable silence between them and Alec knows that Magnus knows, because Magnus always knows. 

“For a guy so used to portals, I have to admit, nothing beats a late night stroll through the city,” Magnus says and Alec can tell he is only trying to clear the tension, trying to create small talk which has never really been their thing so it only makes it that bit more awkward. 

Alec has been thinking way too much and probably overthinking things knowing what he is like but as Magnus said, nothing beats a late night stroll in an awkward silence. Just an open invitation to overthinking. 

“Yeah. Gives you time to think,” Alec replies and he can practically taste the bitterness that is silently behind his comment. He doesn't mean it really but at the moment, thousands - 17,000 to be more precise - of images are going through his head and none of them involve himself and Magnus. So he guesses the rest is easier to figure out. 

They are both walking further into the loft, neither of them looking at one another. Magnus shrugs of his jacket, placing it onto a nearby sofa. “You must have thought a lot.”

Alec sighs before Magnus starts to continue, “You barely said a word the whole way home.”

Magnus reaches for a bottle of something that Alec can only assume is alcoholic and pours himself a glass, his back to the shadowhunter. And Alec is kind of just awkwardly stood with his feet brushing the rug as he moves from one foot to the other. He’s starts to grow nervous and can barely comprehend what comes out of his mouth next. 

“Magnus…” Alec says, half of him wanting the Warlock to turn around, the other half of him wanting him to just stay where he is. Talking to someones back is much easier than talking to someones face, especially when that face is Magnus’ and especially when his next words could only cause that handsome face to frown. In other words, Alec is torn between not wanting to see Magnus sad and seeing the relief of someone who is rid of a shadowhunter that’s just _too_ _innocent._  

“Do you think…maybe we’re too…” He pauses. Magnus still hasn't turned around but Alec can see the warlock tensing. And then Alec is just stood there waving his hand around like that could possibly help him. 

“Different?” Magnus adds. 

Alec closes his eyes for a brief second, taking in that word - _different_. “Yeah,” he sighs. 

It’s then that Magnus decides to turn around and Alec can see that the warlock is far from being relieved. Magnus is shaking his head slightly, “we’re from totally different worlds.”

Alec doesn't look at Magnus as he starts to feel a lump form in his throat. He’s always told himself he wouldn't cry over anybody but lately that’s all it seems like he has been doing, crying. But that just isn't it, they aren't just from two different worlds, it’s much more than that. 

“Different centuries,” Alec states, biting his lip to stop his voice from breaking. Nothing happens. Magnus doesn’t say anything, he wont look at Alec and Alec wont look at him either. They’re just back to the awkward silence because the truth is out there and even though it had been discussed and even though they were both aware that immortality stood like a brick wall between them, it isn't until now that Alec realises just how strong that brick wall is. There seems to be no getting through it. 

“Look, I… I should go,” Alec says, motioning to the door but his eyes stay stuck to the carpet and he has honestly never admired a rug this much before. He turns to leave, not looking at Magnus once although he does feel the Warlock’s eyes trained directly on him as he walks away. Alec knows that Magnus wants to say something but he cant blame him for staying quiet. It kind of makes him feel like a charity case, as though he is the one the whole world should be feeling sorry for. 

But besides everything that’s telling him to leave, he just _can’t_ do it. Alec can’t walk away from someone like Magnus. And it isn’t because he is feeling sad or because he feels as though it’s an attention that he isn't prepared to lose quite yet, It’s because he knows that walking away from Magnus will be a mistake. That’s how he knows that he was never in love with Jace since how he feels right now couldn't even compare. He comes to a halt, taking a moment to contemplate the possible consequences but he knows that he is only lying to himself if he sees any. Magnus is honestly the most pure thing to have happened to him in a very long time and giving that up deems him to be the opposite of the brave man that he wants everyone to know him as. 

Alec sighs, holding his breath for a split second just to stay composed. It’s an inner battle between his head and heart because he knows that he needs to start being honest with himself if he ever wants a chance at being happy. Even if he doesn't think he deserves it.

“Look, I don’t care how many people you’ve been with,” Alec finally says, walking back over to Magnus who looks up at him in slight surprise. 

He sighs, again. 

“I don’t care how many people you haven't been with,” Magnus replies and it’s as though hearing that makes Alec brave again. His eyes flicker between the warlocks eyes and lips, and he knows he desperately wants to kiss him. So obviously, he does. 

Alec takes one hesitant step forward, and then another, before his lips are on Magnus’ and that feeling he got from the last time they kissed explodes from being locked up for so long. It’s gentle, them both sighing into it as if to say, _finally_. Alec lifts his hand and grips gently at Magnus’ waist, the warlock doing the same as their lips move together. There is no passion behind it, nothing to lead it further, it’s just one of those kisses where Alec feels that if they were in some TV show, soft music would play quietly in the background and a thousand fangirls would be grinning behind their pillows. It’s sweet and Alec kind of doesn't ever want it to end. But it does, and they pull apart, however their bodies still stay close. Alec can feel the heat coming from Magnus and all he wants to do is pull the warlock back in and kiss him for the rest of his life. 

“I hear that relationships, they, um… take effort,” Alec says, his voice cracking slightly. He can feel Magnus’ breath tickle his lips and is it just too much to ask if he wants to kiss this man forever. Despite that nagging thought at the back of his brain he does take a moment to feel proud of himself, for not walking away. 

“I’m all for effort,” Magnus replies. 

A small smile plays on the edges of Alec’s lips, “good, because I don't want this to end.”

Magnus snakes his hand further around Alec’s waist, pulling him that bit closer. Alec seizes the opportunity to rest their foreheads together and he knows that this is where he wants to stay, wrapped up in the Warlocks arms, the closest thing he has to a home right now. 

“Neither do I,” Magnus says and then he leans away, to properly look at Alec. “I never had any intention of ending it,” he adds.

Alec blushes. “I just… I thought that,” he stutters but he isn't able to continue as Magnus’ finger lifts and hovers in front of Alec’s lips to quiet him. 

“I understand,” Magnus says. 

A smile crosses Alec’s face at the significance behind the motion, the same small smile painting the warlock’s face as well. Alec knows they are going to be fine. He knows that it may take time but they both want it and therefore nothing really was standing in their way in the first place. As Magnus lowers his arm to take Alec’s hand, interlocking their fingers, Alec can see hope, just a little bit but it’s more than he has ever seen before. As Magnus pulls Alec towards the sofa and pushes him gently down so that it results with Magnus hovering over Alec, their bodies pressed together, Alec gathers that he’s stupid for wanting to walk away. As their lips connect for the second time that night, Alec knows for a fact that he’s definitely stupid, stupidly in love with a warlock who just might love him back. 

And that makes him happy.

**Author's Note:**

> Hopefully that wasn't too bad, but next week, expect smut because we all know where next weeks episode might lead to!
> 
> Kudos and comments are appreciated :) x


End file.
